Children’s self-esteem: how to teach them to have responsibilities in their daily lives

It may seem paradoxical, but the truth is that the more we do for our children, the more dependent and irresponsible they become. Adults want children to enjoy the advantages of childhood, which translates into a lot of play and few responsibilities, “they will have time to have obligations and make decisions” – we think on many occasions -. Parents today are excessively helpful, perhaps to get children to achieve more ambitious goals than ourselves, do we believe that we never do enough for our children to have to enslave ourselves?

The point is that helping children too much takes away their power, deprives them of the possibility of developing their own abilities and diminishes their self-confidence or self-esteem, and consequently they could be led to school failure. The key is to offer help when it is requested and directed so that the child uses their own resources in solving a problem. It is as bad to go too far as not to arrive.

Children learn a lot by performing daily tasks from the order of the room to the tasks of hygiene, food, sleep and life in society and at home. In all this learning process, many mistakes are made that usually annoy and disturb adults because they produce dirt, make us lose time, because we think that if we do it, it will be better, etc.

If we observe our children, we see that they have their own resources in the search for solutions to problems. They are usually practical and solve their problems thinking about the here and now, the solutions are usually concrete and immediate, it may not be the correct solution but the one that for the moment serves them and solves the problem they had, if adults intervene and warn them that the solution found is not correct, the children will doubt their own ability to solve problems and will feel insecure, blocking and avoiding the situation that causes them that or those problems, let’s trust them!

It is important to be attentive to the signs that indicate disaffection or demotivation for school, unidentified learning difficulties can cause frustration and low self-esteem.

Parents who trust in their children’s possibilities:

• They do not watch their children expecting them to get something wrong. When they make mistakes or fail, they are more interested in what they have been able to learn than in correcting them.
• They can see their children strive without feeling the need to intervene.
• They are not afraid of the future, so they do not communicate anxiety.
• They prefer them to strive when they have to take a job to class even if it does not turn out completely well, thus favoring their self-esteem and school performance.
• They ask their children to do difficult but possible and appropriate things for their physical and personal age.

Parents who do not trust in their children’s possibilities:

• They do not ask their children to do things that can expand their capabilities.
• When children try new things and fail, they are not given time to correct or solve them without help.
• They offer their help before their children ask for it.
• They do their children’s schoolwork.
• Parents do not bother to teach their children new and more complex knowledge.

Although they seem fragile and defenseless, your children are stronger and more prepared than you think.

díde: early detection of signs of learning difficulties and development